Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
