the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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