So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
so much tequila, so little girl.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
