I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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