My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
