you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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