Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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