I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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