I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
