he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize