Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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