brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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