There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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