do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
