New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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