Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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