Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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