She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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