yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
