can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
