Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize