Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
