I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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