I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
