Soap is not a condiment
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Randomize
