Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Randomize
