I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
