Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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