I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
