Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
