we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm at about main and main street
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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