He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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