Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
