paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
