she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
