i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
