it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
