You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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