So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
