In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
