She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Alive.
So much puke
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
