we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
