Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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