She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
