i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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