After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
