you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
