So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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