If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
