TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
