just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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