I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
