the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize