I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Congratulations! We have a period
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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