I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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