I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
