its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
