So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
