Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
