i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
