just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
tell me about the eggs
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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