Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
