how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Randomize
