What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
